The End of the (Acting) Affair?

Panto season is over and I will be free to catch up with my writing and coursework next week.

I have spent some time reflecting on the experience over the last few weeks and it seems to me that the balance of effort to outcome, of writing time lost to benefit gained, may be a little out of kilter.

Has it helped my writing?  Yes, in some ways it has, as I said on Thursday.  It has also given me ideas for future scenes and stories and put me in touch with some very interesting people who may be able to help me in the future.

But time is finite and I have to start thinking about where it can best be used.  Months of rehearsals and planning meetings have led me to the conclusion that I need to reconsider my dramatic interludes.

I am not a performance poet, or a regular public reader, and I know that I need to improve my presentation skills for readings and to build my confidence in sharing my work.  In theory, acting could help with this. However, in reality I don’t think this is the case.  Acting (as we do it) is comedic, unpolished and a team effort.  It is not refined or professional enough to bring to a poetry reading.

Furthermore, being yourself on stage, sharing your own thoughts, is somewhat different to playing a character and reciting someone else’s words.  When I act I feel nervous and embarrassed before going on stage. When I read my own work I feel anxious, exposed and vulnerable.  It matters so much more that the two are almost incomparable.

So from a writing point of view I lose more in time than I gain in skills.

On a personal basis I miss writing in those weeks I don’t do it: I don’t have the right balance in life.  Acting feeds my need to be creative but not my need to develop and explore my own ideas.  It doesn’t fulfil me or challenge me to be better because it doesn’t matter.

I act for fun: writing is a need.  If I have any doubt about what I should and shouldn’t agree to in the future that distinction should help!

In other news – after a short hiatus writing group is back soon and the plan for an open mike event is taking shape, so I hope to have more on that next time!

Happy writing,

EJ

🙂

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Free Post Thursday – Work/life

Well, my three days of early starts and late finishes is over for this session, and I have the next three weeks to recover before it starts again!

I used to think working long hours was normal, acceptable – in some way a validation of me as a professional. My career break changed all that and made me feel much better about saying no to long working days and being available at all hours, so when I do it, I know it’s my choice.

It’s been a lovely realisation that I can have a different balance in life, and has made me a far more focussed and positive person in the workplace too.

But now I am back to the norm, so I need to get back to my writing, and although I gave myself today to work on another project I intend to get somewhere between 1000-1500 words completed tomorrow and something similar on Saturday – I have my nieces staying again so won’t guarantee Sunday’s output! I want to build up the momentum again, and have something to tell you in my extra posts!

For tonight, I’m going to rest up and get a good sleep, so I’m all ready to get back to my poor, confused heroine tomorrow!

Happy writing,
EJ
🙂

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