It’s a family wedding this weekend and I have just finished packing all my bits and bobs.
Being me, I was all sorted, had my outfit ready and knew exactly what I needed until a few days ago when I decided not to wear the planned outfit because it wasn’t flattering…
In my defence a. It’s a wedding so the photos will be seen. A lot and b. Both outfits will be worn multiple times, so neither is going to waste.
It’s nearing three years since my own wedding, so I can imagine how the bride is feeling now.
I mostly remember that calm feeling of the day though, when people expected me to be stressed.
I wasn’t.
Alll that passed and I was just happy. Â I hope they both get that feeling; it was perfect.
Because of the associated family gatherings I might not write a post on Sunday – time will be pretty limited and I want to get the most from seeing people we don’t always see!
On Thursday I said I was writing a poem inspired by an anniversary. Specifically it was a 20th anniversary celebration for a couple in my family.
I worked on the poem for a couple of weeks, which isn’t long for me and I felt a little worried that I wouldn’t reach an end point that made me happy.
However, I knew what I wanted to say, so it was just a case of finding the right words and style.
I say ‘just’; it’s not that easy, but I had a start point which is important for these very personal pieces.
I began by writing down the concepts in verse form, each stanza 6 lines long. Â As I refined and reorganised the poem it took on a new form with a distinct repetition pattern.
The final form was five couplets, and one single line to start off. I had reached that style by Thursday when I took it to my writing group, so from then onwards it was simply about refining word choice.
I gave the poem to the couple on Saturday night, and although I will always see ways I could refine my work further I was happy with the result. Â I think they were too: it is now a cover photo on Facebook!
I find writing for loved ones more demanding than other work – I think because it’s so important to find the right words for them as well as me. I don’t and can’t do it for every big event or celebration; this was the fifth specifically personal poem including two for funerals and the one I wrote for my own wedding!
There have been times when I planned to write but can’t get the right words or the right feeling. It will always be an exception to write something as a gift because it will always be an exception for the writing stars to align.
But when it works, and is enjoyed, it really is a great result for me.
Firstly, apologies for not being here yesterday. It was a frenetic day, at the end of an extremely busy weekend. We spent a great deal of the weekend in the car driving up and down a variety of motorways, attended two charity events, a big barbeque, and spent time with my husband’s cousin and her daughter, who are visiting from the North of England. We were already squeezing things into little gaps, and doing it badly.  However, with one family member becoming unwell over the weekend we ended up spending more time than expected at a local hospital.
Luckily, they were allowed to leave and we could take them home, but it was inevitably a bit worrying for all concerned.
We needed a little pick-me-up yesterday after dropping everyone off at their various locations, so we drove home via the beach and got an ice cream!
I did get some writing done but as Friday – Sunday were so busy it wasn’t quite as much as I had planned; I need to catch up a little over the next few days. I managed about 4 hours on the whodunnit so in effect the three days which were so busy were the three I missed out on and I’m willing to accept that, based on how sleepy I still am!
I also started work on a new poem, which came about as a result of some photos from the retreat. It’s a bit historical so I’m researching the factual elements in it. It feels good though, as though it’s as solid as the Welsh mountains. I can picture them, just writing out the words.
Another task I took on last week is a proofreading one – a friend of mine has completed her memoirs. It’s almost social history, because she lived through so many changes, and was a pioneer in many ways. I warned her it will take some time but I’ve got the first few chapters now so I can judge the time commitment a little more accurately.
What with everything else taking it on may have been a mistake, but it’s so fascinating I couldn’t help myself!
So that was last week –Â I might spend this week getting over it!
I am going to leave off here, as it’s time for me to get back to the whodunnit, but I’ll be back tomorrow.
I’ve been caught up so much this week that I’ve hardly had time to sit and write this blog post, let alone anything else! Â But you know what – a new week starts in the morning, so I can try all over again.
And rather than moan about my lack of writing time, or worry about the lack of progress towards my targets, I’m going to go with the flow and appreciate all the positive, happy time I’ve had this week, especially time spent with family I haven’t seen for about 2 years.
Oh, and post a song that makes me smile – well, it’s in both Mystery Men and Shrek so it comes from good stock!
Hope your week has given you something to feel joyful about.
The challenge this month was to write about family in a way that dealt with resentment, or a lack of connection, or some unresolved issue. Â But that left me in a quandary, as I don’t post specifics about my family as a rule; I don’t want to invade their privacy in a blog which is essentially about my own experiences of a writing life.
So I took a wider view of family; a world-wide one, in fact – because we are all related, one way or another.
We are all human.
And we all have things we’d like to see in an ideal world.
For me, there’s a point that seems to keep reappearing at the moment.  Not just in my real life either, but in newspaper reports such as the one about Ellen Page’s speech at the Time to Thrive conference.   Ellen Page summed up the point beautifully:
‘this world would be a whole lot better if we just made an effort to be less horrible to one another.’
That doesn’t sound too hard, does it? Â ‘Be less horrible’ is hardly ambitious.
We all suffer from the unkind, unfair scrutiny of others to a greater or lesser extent – for those of us in ‘safe’ countries, those of us lucky enough to have the support of family and friends, it can sometimes feel unbearable.
How much more so for people in countries where it is illegal to be the person you were born? Â Or where you don’t know if you will survive the bombs dropping on your city, or where you are unsafe to travel alone because you are a woman.
There are many things in this world that cause difficulties for people, but the only one we can all take responsibility for is ourselves.
So I hope for one thing today: that my family, my vast 7 billion and rising family, is kinder to each other.
And if you’re in any doubt about our ability to do just that, take a look at this video released by a Norwegian charity:
Becoming a writer 