This week’s inspiration post is not an inspiration post at all. It’s written in lieu of a panic attack as I think about my first proper public reading.
Yesterday I spent about three hours with my friend going through the set list – songs, poems and excerpts from relevant books. The way it has worked out, I’ll now be reading six of my own poems, one poem by another person, and three passages from books.
I reckon in total, over two 45 minute sets, I’ll read for a maximum of about 20 minutes – and yet the whole thing is filling me with dread.
I was asked today what the difference is between open mike events and this. Well, in reality I suppose you could argue that there’s not a lot of difference but in my mind open mike events are full of poets, singers and musicians all sharing their work, whereas this is about performing to an audience.
Even writing that makes my stomach shrivel up…
This is what it means to be a writer though. The sharing part has never been easy for me, but I have to conquer it to make the life I’ve chosen meaningful. I can’t do it with the novels until I have exhausted the agent search, but I can do it with the poetry.
All the poems bar one are like old friends, and I can wrap myself in their comforting familiarity. The venue is well-known, and the people warm and supportive. I really am easing into the performance side with a sympathetic first attempt.
But I’m still terrified!
It’s like that phrase you see on inspirational posters – ‘feel the fear, and do it anyway’. By this time Sunday, the fear will be in the past and I’ll have accomplished something important.
And once I’ve done it, you’ll know you can too. There you go – a little bit of inspiration after all!
Happy writing,
EJ
🙂
Becoming a writer 
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