I have finally got the poem for (or maybe in this case of) peace drafted, based on elements of the original freewrite – although maturing cheese sadly didn’t cut the mustard, so to speak!
You will probably have noticed by now that I don’t approach this challenge from a spiritual or holistic point of view. For me, it’s too big, and covers too many approaches, to feel confident I can do it justice.
This is evident in virtually all my poetry. The most successful efforts are about a specific feeling, or specific event; I’m the writing equivalent of a camera’s macro lens!
So this poem for peace is about a moment of internal quietness. It is by no means polished – it takes me months and months to hone any poem until it’s good enough for my portfolio and this is a long way off that – but maybe if you’ve had a rubbish day, or have been really busy, you can take it to a quiet spot in your home, read it slowly, and use it as a chance to take a breath. Apologies for the numbers between stanzas but for some reason that’s the only way I could put breaks in.
Peace
1.
I close my eyes and drift
On the air that stills my thoughts,
Melt into the moment
That exists, right now.
2.
Heart beats like a timepiece
Measuring the pulse of life
As I inhale, exhale
And become the quiet.
3.
My mind retires from
The daily back and forward
Of other people’s lives:
I am solitude.
4.
Peace flows like a wave,
Its tide smoothing away
Footprints of thought, left
In the sand of my mind.
Happy writing,
EJ
🙂
Great Job! And I like that you don’t follow the “norm.”
Thank you 🙂
I love your gravatar by the way!
Thanks..had my hair done special for that photo!
That made me laugh out loud!
This is great! I love the way the line “And become the quiet” sits on it’s own and really says it all 😀
Thanks Dianne – I like to experiment with pacing in poems and this line was structured to be the exhalation (from the line before!), not sure I’m quite where I want to be on this draft but glad it grabbed your attention 🙂
Love this, EJ. Reading your poem made me feel like I had just completed an hours meditation on peace. I love the last lines in every stanza. They ring true and quiet the mind of the reader. Thank you for this amazing poem for peace. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo
Thanks so much Kozo, that’s really brilliant feedback – I’m still quite shy about sharing my poetry and so pleased it had the peaceful effect I hoped for!
Hugs back 🙂
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Wonderful poem, I really lived the poem through your words. I could picture someone sitting under a tree on a quiet sunday morning meditating in the lotus position. Beautiful, I can’t believe that it would take months to refine this any further I really think it’s perfect just the way it is.
Thank you so much 🙂 🙂
It really means a lot when people give such positive feedback, I still find it quite hard to share work and to get such kindness back gives me the confidence to keep going!
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[…] from last month either); but in searching for peaceful quotes I’ve been inspired to share my poem for peace more widely, and to write about war, and human struggles – more on that another […]